In my profession as a wealth and business advisor, I often hear individuals and families share their personal experiences with money and their comments often echo money stories such as:
“Growing up I was poor…”
“I never had a lot of money…”
“My family was not rich…”
“I lost a lot of money back when…”
“I was never able to afford…”
“I always struggled with finances…”
As these experiences may have been a part of many lives, myself included, I found that staying in ‘what it was’ kept me from fulfilling my desires to move in the direction of what I really wanted. My dream was to create multiple sources of income (MSI) and a healthy residual cash-flow. Many of us know that whatever we choose to focus our energy on will yield those exact results.
Although I always knew I wanted to create MSI and cash-flow, my own money story was unconsciously getting in my way and for many years, I would start my story with:‘Money was an absence in my family while growing up…’ My story consisted of how my family was so poor, that for a few years during my childhood, my father would be out and about collecting empty pop and beer cans to make extra money. He would do this before and after his regular job in the early mornings, late evenings, weekends and holidays.Game or event nights were especially lucrative as we ventured out for hours at a time on these can collecting excursions. He would drive to community parks, local beaches and essentially anywhere he could scour for “hidden treasures” (as he would call it), even if it was straight out of trash cans.
…whatever we choose to focus our energy on will yield those exact results.
I recall these experiences so vividly as if I was there right beside him. That 8 year old girl who was asked to join him after school and on weekends for these can collecting adventures. I can still remember the smell, especially the beer cans. It was definitely not the smell of daisies and unicorns.
Sometimes, my hands would get so sticky from the left over soda spilled on the can, that I imagined myself as Spider Woman, with the secret power of collecting cans just from touching them! Of course, my real thoughts were of embarrassment and shame every time I ventured out with my father to collect these scraps of tin. As an 8 year old girl, I just wanted to play with my friends and do the typical things my friends were doing, like riding bikes at the park or having teatime with teddy bears.
I knew my Father was working extremely hard with his main goals to provide the very best for his family and to ensure that there was enough money for all of our essential needs. Even though those few years of can collecting were not my favorite memories, I appreciated every bit of what he did to provide for our family. My father is a man I am extremely proud of. His strength during those years taught me that there are always solutions to any challenge and that when faced with adversity, the truest test of strength is the will to find a way, as he always did.
And there you have it, that was my story around wealth, or lack of it, and it’s the story I carried into my adult life.
Fast forward 20 years…
I’m socializing at an event and sharing a story about some future hopes and dreams of mine when I find myself in a space of deja-vu. For a moment, I ask myself “have I shared this story tonight already?” Just then, the attention of the event turned to the host, thanking everyone for attending and a small speech ensued.In that moment, I found myself wondering, “Have I shared this story before?” I sure felt like I did, but it wasn’t at this party. “I think I shared a similar story a few months ago at another gathering. Wait! I think I shared this story 6 months ago? I think I also shared something similar a year or two ago as well!”I began to wonder,“Am I experiencing the same things and sharing my story or am I sharing my story and experiencing the same things?”
In that introspective moment, I realized that every time I thought about something that was beyond my current financial capacity, I would think back on my childhood memories of how hard it was just to make ends meet and how much love and respect I had for my father’s work ethic. I was working harder to make ends meet, rather than working smarter to create the abundant life I wanted. I realized that, the very story I kept telling myself for the last 20 years, was preventing me from achieving the financial and life goals that I wanted.
Since my defining financial experience was based on that childhood story, I realized that it didn’t matter how hard I worked because I believed that I would always be poor or struggle with finances unless I worked incredibly hard. Even then, that would mean at best, I was only going to make ends meet. As I mentioned above, no matter how conscious our efforts, whatever we secretly believe about ourselves and the world, becomes our reality. My financial beliefs and what I was telling myself were not aligned with what I was trying to achieve. Each time I shared my story about ‘what it was’, I became engulfed by that very story and it locked me into a never ending loop.
…the very story I kept telling myself for the last 20 years, was preventing me from achieving the financial and life goals that I wanted.
During this realization, it also dawned on me that somewhere in my inner being, I was receiving some emotional satisfaction by continuing to immerse myself in that particular story. Perhaps I secretly wanted the people I shared my story with to feel sympathy for me, or maybe I just wanted to hang onto those moments with my father as he was such a significant part of my growth as a child.
Have you ever found yourself telling the same story over and over again and not realizing that the story you were telling was defining your current reality?I am a firm believer that all of our life experiences make up the very person we are today. However, our life experiences are simply that, just our life experiences. It is “what it was” not “what it is now” or “what it could be”.
After realizing that I was the one stopping myself from reaching those wealth goals, I made a conscious commitment to focus on my current story. What it is now, at this very moment.No more telling myself the story of ‘what it was’ as that eight-year-old girl. After making that shift of consciousness, I can tell the real story, the story of now. It’s the story of achieving my goals in creating MSI through different avenues of income generating businesses. It is the satisfaction of breaking free and empowering myself to create a healthy flow of residual income through alternative investment tools.
The potential of what it could be is continuing to allow myself to receive tools and techniques from global experts in building an abundance of wealth then sharing my knowledge to the best of my ability with the audience who comes upon the content of my writing and services.
So let’s hear it! I would love to hear what your money story is for you now!